So most of the people who truly, deeply know me have been surprised with what I've been doing for the past 6 months, or for longer than that.
Everyone's been convinced that I would go to a school to learn about fashion or went to Brazil in February, well that's because that's what I've told them. I was pretty convinced myself that I would be in fashion school by now and would be graduating soon, and I would've been to Brazil last February, had my ticket printed, hotel booked and friends approved, but then I left last October for the Philippines. I was scared, not-driving up-a-bridge kind of scared, or going-up-a-flight-of-stairs-to-jump-from-a-height-with-only-a-line-and-a harness-holding-me-in-place kind of scared, more like a...God, I'm about to come face to face to something/someone that could make or break me, but I still went...to another route though.
The past 6 months have been great, not what I would usually describe as phenomenal but the fact that I haven't been robbed, haven't been a hostage, never been threatened, lacerated and in fact still living up to this very moment is pretty...great.
I make it sound like a horrid story, it really isn't. Here goes,
On the 15th of September, I pussied out of yet another promise I made a friend to come see him. Wrote my resignation paper, rerouted my ticket, checked out for schools in Manila, asked my aunt if I could live with her children who go to the same school, she said yes so, I called my dad and told him my grand plan. He laughed, then realized the seriousness of my tone and then kept quiet and sighed.
A month later, 14th of October, I landed in the Philippines, I made sure not to wear mascara that time, my first time was a blood bath. I cried on my way out the airport, yes, literally a 10 hours cry. I visited schools, took my pick and now here I am about to enter my 2nd semester as an International Relations Student Majoring in Diplomacy and will hopefully be continuing right after as a Law Student.
I know it's a far cry from being a fashion designer, it was a very pretty dream but I realized I can do so much more with this mouth and the musings in my head, I could barely draw to save my life...but I can talk and I love it, and that I'm required to learn a foreign language is definitely the most titillating part of this college experience. (I don't know why but as I'm typing my mind is reading my blog with a British accent.)
I joined two organizations - CLEP (Center for Language and Education Profiency) and the Debate Society, I love CLEP, I love the people and I love my students, I'm such a soft ball, I've cried about a million times for every student I've had..and I only had 5. They were such sweethearts, I learned so much about their Culture and a couple of words, I have to say I wasn't really a fan of Koreans, let alone Asians before I joined CLEP but they really got me hooked. It was such an honor and a marvelous experience to teach them English the best way I know how, we still communicate from time to time and I really am looking forward to sharing more with new students to come.
This coming semester I'll be joining UNESCO or UNICEF, the Foreign Service Club and some others.
I made a lot of friends as well, mostly Africans - they fascinate me. I dated one for sometime, surprisingly longer than a fruit fly's life span. He was great, we just had very little in common and had too big dreams that we couldn't jeopardize them just to be together, we're both students not that age is a matter. I'll be watching his games maybe, and if he doesn't die of boredom watching me debate well, that would be awesome.
I make it sound like I'm writing an essay for my Politics and Governance class, but I'm really happy though that I get to write at all, I wanted to be a writer but for the life of me, I am too moody for that.
It's also a wholly different experience to be the girl that some of my classmates look up to, I've been in the work front, I've done a lot of things, some I'm utterly proud of and some I will take to my grave in secrecy, mostly because I'm the oldest they've been in class with - besides in my classes with the Engineering guys, I'm the second oldest which is something i take good pride to know..and I'm only 20. Most of them are fresh grads, still a little bit high school oriented, but it's fun to play sometimes, feel a little younger.
I've been working for far too long, talking about marriage and having a family. Frankly, I've moved on from high school WHILE I was in high school it's good to feel like my age sometimes, but really...just sometimes, I'm proud of my battle scars and the things I've gone through to get to this place of peace and the feeling of usefulness....
I've had better grades than all of my years in high school combined, probably because I'm no longer rushing to get out and grow up, I've been out and have grown a little. I know I'm not 40, but I have done way too many in soo little time and indistinguishably excited to do much more.
I live in a nice place with my brother, get three hours of sleep tops even on weekends, but that sense of...doing something, making a difference, even if its just to myself, for now...at some point I'm looking to share it with someone, then a whole lot of someones. (it does sound like an Essay, what the hell)
Although I don't get so much sleep and time to do my hair or put thicker make up than vampire lipstick just to have a little color and hide the night before's stress, it's good to be busy and productive. That's why swimming pools were invented, so I can think more than I do in stable grounds HAHA.
I'm taking back all that's been deprived of me this summer, so I don't really mind being in the couch all day, watching horror movies in the morning and not being able to fall asleep because...something might be lurking around.
Making a difference one step at a time
Good Luck :)
xoxo
